Dave Stewart

An open letter to Winston Peters (and his supporters).

On Thursday last week while pulling up on my e-Bike to talk to some workers constructing a sign at the Keepa Road roundabout, I got it all very wrong and ended up going head over heels.

I was a little uncomfortable for a few days but figured, as men tend to, that whatever was wrong would sort itself out.

By Monday it was clear that, if nothing else, my shield of indestructability was at the very least in need of some medical propping up.

Turns out I had broken three ribs and needed to take a course of Morphine and Netflix for a few days.

I was attended to at Whakatāne Hospital by the wonderful staff there.

I arrived at 9am and was triaged by an Asian nurse, seen very quickly by an American doctor and had X-rays done by an African radiologist.

I was given my medication by another Asian nurse.

I was discharged at 11am.

I was a bit unsure of some of the aspects of taking opiates so I fired up messenger and got some peace of mind advice from a friend who is a South African nurse.

I spent the rest of Monday in a state of absolute bliss listening to music, specifically some of my Frank Zappa vinyl. It was far out man.

I just wanted to let Winston Peters and his supporters know that while they’re clutching pearls about immigration, it’s not the problem they are making it out to be.

In fact, immigration isn’t a problem, it’s actually the solution.

Spreading race-based hate about immigration is the problem and it’s making you all look like idiots.

No offence.

I prescribe taking two heaped tablespoons of reality along with 2 x 100gm tablets of shut the heck up six times a day.

Thank you for your attention in this matter.