DELILAH Whaitiri, a former junior and Māori Affairs reporter at the Beacon, has been named a finalist in the Miss National New Zealand and Worldwide pageant.

Through her platform, the 45-year-old aims to raise awareness of the struggles young people face when growing up without love and support, and the identity trauma that can arise from losing key figures in their lives.

“I entered the pageant because I wanted to share my experiences and make a difference,” Miss Whaitiri said.

“So many young people grow up without the support they need, and the loss of significant people in their lives often leaves them feeling lost.”

Her story is a powerful example of this struggle. At just two years old, she and her twin sister were abducted, a traumatic event that has stayed with her, despite years of therapy. Shortly afterward, her father passed away, leaving her to mourn a pivotal figure she never had the chance to truly know.

“People have asked me, ‘How can you grieve someone you didn’t really know?" Miss Whaitiri said. “But I mourned for 30 years. It wasn’t until I saw my eldest son, who looks just like my dad, that I found peace with it.”

At age seven, her challenges deepened when her mother left for Australia, and she never saw her again.

She and her sister were placed in foster care, where they were taken in by Nana Gordon, who provided stability and love during this dark period.

“Nana Gordon was a guiding light in a dark place,” she said.  “She gave us a sense of family and helped us through a time of uncertainty.”

Later, Miss Whaitiri and her sister were whāngai to extended family members, where they received unwavering support.

“I want to honour my whāngai mother and father for their dedication and love,” she said.

“My whāngai mother did the job that nobody else wanted. She provided for us and loved us as her own, and I have very fond memories of her. I’m grateful for the care they both offered us and for the strength they provided during such a challenging time.”

She also acknowledges her biological mother for the difficult decision she made to entrust her children to others. “It must have been one of the hardest decisions a mother could make. I honour her for that.”

However, the absence of her biological parents left a lasting void.

“I spent years searching for love in unhealthy places because I didn’t know who I was,” she said.

“I internalised the pain of rejection and began to hate myself. I was an angry, volatile young woman, and I hurt many people. If you don’t respect yourself, you won’t respect others.”

Miss Whaitiri’s journey illustrates the impact of unhealed trauma. “When you grow up with abandonment issues, you often carry that pain into your relationships, leading to a cycle of hurt. I was deeply traumatised, and while I’ve made significant progress, I recognise that healing is an ongoing process.”

Today, she stands as a testament to resilience and transformation.

“I’m not completely healed, and I still have room for growth, but I have healed from my trauma. I can now participate fully in life.

“Thanks to my faith and my resilience, I’ve gone on to do many things and transformed from the inside out.”

Her message to young people is one of hope, strength, and affirmation: “You are innately valuable, no matter what anyone says to you. Remember this: you were created valuable. There’s nothing you need to do to earn your worth; it was there at the time of conception and remains within you. Never forget this. Put it up as a mantra on your wall or somewhere you’ll see it every day, so you are reminded daily that you matter. You always have.”

Now, Miss Whaitiri is a not only a pageant finalist but also a co-facilitator for a life skills programme delivered in schools throughout the Tauranga region.

The programme covers important topics such as self-worth, identifying emotions, healthy relationships, and anger management. Additionally, she mentors young people, helping them navigate their own challenges and build better futures.

“My faith and my determination got me through,” she said. “I want young people to know that no matter what they’ve been through, they are valuable. It’s not an easy road, but they are worthy of love and belonging, and they can overcome their struggles, too.”

If you’d like to support Miss Whaitiri’s journey in the Miss National New Zealand competition, including voting for the People’s Choice award, or want to learn more about her work, you can follow her on Facebook or reach out to connect.